Writing

1:25 PM - I feel the urge to write something. Anything. Except His (ITS) name, well the name we gave it (HIM (IT) ). Tht's out of bounds right now. I'm compelled. This is some weird stuff going on, like a few minutes ago I saw her I know I saw her (Was it her? (NO) ). She was stnding over by the corner of the library, looking out of the window. I KNOW (?) I saw her. It was definently her. Definitely.

Waking dreams. Damnit, I know this isn't real, but I'd rather believe the lie than the awful, goddamn truth. She deserved bettter than what she got, what 'd she get? She got Me. Worthless, bumbling, idiotic stupid me. stuipd, stupis, stupidstupidSTUPID

Loss os sleep is getting to me. I need to speel. sleep. dmit. I can't manage the backspace button anymore. I'm just hoping I hit the right keys at the right times at this poing. Tired. Eyes are drooping. Thank whatever I believe in I turned off Stickykes awhile ago or my iron pinky on the  SHITF key would;ve triggered that thing a long while back. I feel terrible.

I feel fine. I don't know what;s wrong with me; I should just calm down and take a few deep breaths. Yeah, that's it, deep breaths...

*INHLE* *EXHLE*

Great. The a key is sticking again. I didn't want to bring it up, but the q and a keys have been randonly deciding when they want to work. Last post I almost went off on a rant about them, well guess what a and q I'M LOOKING AT YOU NOW!

1:35 PM - Need to calm down. Need to relax. I am typing very slowly now, but t least I'm calm. This is actually pretty relaxing. Heh, a key stuck again, but do i care? Nope. Missed the shift key on that I. Stressed? Over an i? There, I did it again. I just need to slow down and ... nd breathe...

*INHALE* *EXHALE*

Well, tht worked a lot better than last time. Feel kinda calm. Not like before, that was me forcing myself to calm down. This feels... nice. Tranquil. Peaceful.

And now I'm thinking of Him (IT (HIM) ) again.

Dmnit me, why do you have to do that? I'm getting tired of worrying about this stuff. Things don't have to be this hard. I honestly believe that. I never really remembered my dreams until recently, and I usually only remembered the good ones. These hve been crappy as hell. qqaaqqqqqqqqaaaaaaaa OK, you see that? I swer, they're messing withmIT DID IT AGAIN! RIGHT THERE! DAMNIT!

......

*INHALE*   ..........   *EXHLE*

......

*INHALE*   ..........   *EXHALE*

......

OK. Good. Sorry about all this, but I just got this laptop and for it to be bugging out like this already... I mean yeah, I might mash on the q nd WASD keys for TF2, but that's just normal gamer wear. It shouldn't be sticking like that after a measly 6 months.

Well. The good news is the adrenaline woke me up. The bad news is the breathing exercises calmed me down a bit too much. Gonna get a coffee or something. Later.