Awkward

You know that feeling you get when you know you're supposed to be doing something, but you just can't be bothered to do it? When you know there's something really important which needs to be done, but for some reason you just don't have it in you to move yourself to care? I've been having a lot of days like that lately. I tried to care about the fact that I needed to register for a class which is keeping me from my degree. I failed. I tried to care about the fact that I was going to have a hell of a time registering later after putting it off for so long. I failed. So, here I am, 19 minutes to go before I'm potentially cut off for this semester.

Can I truly be blamed for my carelessness? When you've got bigger things to think about, for example, a stalker who doesn't know the meaning of the words "restraining order", let alone "you can't grow tentacles", things like going for a B.S. degree don't really seem important anymore. It really forces you to take stock of the truly significant things in your life. Right now I'm wishing I spent less time in the classroom and more time on the gun range.

Not that it would matter, anyway. We all know what happens when you try to fight back. We've all heard the horror stories. And those few who actually pulled anything off... how many people have heard of the same trick working twice? I haven't. Then again, maybe I haven't been performing the proper amount of research into what has and has not worked. There is a possibility someone has pulled a bag over it's face more than once(WHATFACE).

I'm doing a lot better than I was before. Whatever happened before was most likely brought on by a severe lack of sleep. One of my more prominent problems is insomnia, you see. Well, the more likely culprit is definitely a severe boredom of waiting for sleep to arrive, leading me to go off onto the internet and wile away the hours until suddenly it's 4, 5, or 7 AM and there is no more time for sleep. Had one of those nights last night. I'm just glad I didn't have anything more to do than register for a class I have had severe troubles with passing in the past, or I would be more despondent over the fact that there's less than 7 minutes left, 6 now, before the cutoff.

Don't really feel that terrible about it, there's always the possibility I could claim there was no way I could make it in due to the course being full and having a hold on my account. It's not like Criminal Justice is a really demanding degree, and besides, I'm almost finished with it anyway. I can always try again next semester... though I'm becoming tired of saying that. By the time I graduate the Mayans will have been proven right or wrong, and I'll have a 50/50 chance of not needing to worry about passing anything anyway.

2 minutes left. Gonna try calling someone again.

5 PM. Call went to voice mail. Again. Welp, here's hoping I can convince someone to look at the screenshot I took while they were leaving me to their answering machines as an exception. I was certain I would be able to register, but then again what do I know about how things are done down there. 5:05. Great. This is an excellent start to the semester which I might not be able to participate in. Can always get a job, I guess. Nothing holding me back from that. Never really hated work, just seemed to always get bored wherever I was. That's one thing I don't envy my Dad for. The man can perform the same repetitious motion over and over and not get bored. Pass.

So. Here I am. Writing for no other reason than how I know when I stop I'm going to lose it and crazily shout bloody murder at the first person who calls me back. 5:08. Did I always write this slow? No, it's not that I'm writing slowly, it's that I can't think of what the hell I'm supposed to say. My mind was always faster than my fingers, and now my hands just want something to do so they won't go on a rampage on the first breakable thing they find. Suddenly it doesn't know what to write. Even that last sentence took some doing to come up with. I couldn't even think that I didn't know, it's so empty right now. Damn I need a drink.

5:11. I want to stand up and walk around a bit, yet I can't move from this spot. 5:15. Trying my damnedest to not think about how screwed things could get if I can't talk my way out of this. I keep making typos because my hands are shaking so damn much. Dmn damndamndamndamn. why do I keep saying that? I guess I'm trying to avoid sying anything much harsher. Trying to keep a PG rating, mybe. considering the material I'm discussing, I have no idea why I bother. It's a giant farce anyway.

Getting bored, keep switching between tabs, nothing really interesting in any of them. Including this one. Meh.

5:28. Nothing much else to say, Might as well stop.